Emotional Resilience, emotional maturity and the dog with one spot.

The first in a series of articles exploring emotional maturity and emotional resilience.

Emotional maturity and emotional resilience are funny things. Spot the difference:

Jay (insert any other name here) wakes up and his (add your own gender) head starts to clear. Today is the day he has to xxxxx (fill in your own ugh thought here).

Breakfast is largely a silent affair. Jay’s wife, generic viagrageneric viagra rxrx a financial consultant, and his three children know not to puncture into Jay’s world on mornings like this. They can just sense the tension and over the years they have learnt the consequences of trying to engage Jay when he is in one of his ‘moods’.

The last time Jay was in a ‘mood’ and his daughter tried to cheer him up xxxx (add your own observed response of a person in a mood when people were trying to reach out to them / you) happened. As a result they now know not to even try but to just stay quiet and make sure he doesn’t see the silent face pulling and eye rolling they amuse each other with at times like this. It is their way of breaking the tension without the consequences.

On the way to work another driver, Sally, miscalculates a junction. The Sally, who was hitherto quite happy going about her daily business ends up in one of those random events and accidentally pulls out in front of Jay, causing Jay to have to break sharply to avoid a collision. Jay swears at the other driver and blows his horn, keeping his fist on the horn for what appears to be ages. Other drivers start to look.  Then the traffic slows. Jay is immediately behind the luckless Sally in the now stationary queue of traffic.

Jay cannot contain himself anymore. Sally glances in her mirror to see the tall man  open his car door and stride towards her. Sally locks her doors as her pupils open wide as she looks too see if there is anyway she can move the car forward. She starts to shake. Jay reaches Sally’s door and motions for the window to be opened. Sally just stares ahead, wishing and praying for the traffic to move. She doesn’t acknowledge Jay’s gesticulations and shouting.

Suddenly there is a loud bang. Sally jumps but keeps looking ahead, her shaking becoming visible now. Keeping he head pointing forward she quickly glances sideways with just her eyes. Jay has kicked the door and is still shouting and gesticulating when finally the traffic moves forward. Sally pulls away.

It is Jay’s turn to have horns blown at him as he quickly walks back to his car.

Sally is quiet at work as she reflects on the events of the morning. She wonders what she did wrong to deserve this. As she sits in her office, Dan who has been a bit of a problem recently knocks on her door. “Sally can I just ask you about this account?”

Sally shouts back “No Dan you can’t. For crying out loud just get on with your work. Why are you only one in this office that has to keep asking stupid questions. Everyone else can do their job.” Sally is shocked at her outburst but feels justified. Dan does not appear able to learn. He keeps asking the same questions. Argh.

Dan sits quietly, aware of all the eyes in the open plan office boring into the back of his head. “What did I do to deserve that? he asks himself. He keeps himself quietly to himself for the rest of the day. When he gets home that evening, late because he had to finish his work without the help he needed, his dinner is somewhat cool. “Yuk this is cold I can’t eat cold dinner.” he complains to his partner Zoey.

“Listen buster your dinner will be warm next time alright because it will be in the dog.” Zoey marches into the kitchen muttering ‘ungrateful git’ under her breath just loud enough for Dan to hear, of course. “What did I do? I just made him dinner and he complains.” again with just enough voice that she hopes it will carry through to Dan. The dog is sleeping peacefully, curled up on the kitchen floor only. She kicks him “GETOUTOFTHEKITCHENYOUONESPOTTEDFREAK. YOUSHOULDN’TBEINHERE.” Spot yelps and runs thinking “What the hell did I do to deserve that?” when he sees a cat…

The endemic continues.

In my next post we will have a look at emotional maturity v’s emotional resilience. What they are and how they relate to each other.

 

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