Emotional Resilience v’s Emotional Maturity – Article two; an internal suit of armour.

Jeremy was waiting to go up to the stage to do his presentation. He knew these feelings so well. They were like old friends, seekseek buybuy only the type of friends who you hide from when they turn up on your doorstep.  Very familiar but unwelcome, generic viagrageneric viagra especially when you need to impress.

The symptoms were so familiar. His hands were sweating, seesee he was having problems hearing things, his stomach was tightening and his mouth and throat were dry. He was starting to feel sick as his moment got closer and closer. How did the others manage to go up there without any nerves? They just looked so calm and composed, even laughing and joking.

This was no joke. He hoped that someone would just call it all off, the roof to collapse, anything.

Bev, who was sat next to him on the front row could feel Jeremy’s discomfort. Not that Jeremy would have called it discomfort. Discomfort is like trapped wind or a sore elbow, this was more like an earthquake complete with falling masonry, trees and the earth opening up.

“Jerry, You OK?” Bev whispered
“Yes” he managed weakly
“I can help” Bev offered
“It’s ok thanks”
“No really I can help – I will stand up and take off all my cloths then you won’t have to go on.”
Jeremy laughed.
“My nakedness isn’t that funny” she remonstrated playfully

“I didn’t mean…” Jeremy stammered.

“Wow you have got this bad haven’t you?” She turned to look at her colleague.  Jeremy turned to face her and she could see the look of someone who had just seen their first live nightmare.

“Listen” she said gently, try this…

A few moments later Jeremy’s face had gained colour, looked more animated and his posture was straighter and positive. “Wow that’s amazing, I feel a lot calmer. How did you do that?”

“Just a little trick I picked up on a course.” Bev replied. “When you go up try this. You’ll find it makes all the difference. All you need to do is…”

Jeremy calmed down and went up, not to his death but to deliver a calm and composed presentation.

Afterwards he saw Bev smiling at him. “What was that you did to me? It felt really odd being up there and being calm and able to think.”

“They are just a couple of tools I have learnt to help me be more emotionally resilient.”

“Emotionally resilient?”

“Yes it’s a bit like having your own internal suit of armour, you can put it on when you need it.”
“So does this mean that you never feel scared?” Jeremy asked.

“Not at all, it just means that when you start to feel something you can control it rather than having you feelings and emotions control your mind and actions.”
Bev continued “You see we often end up just reacting to our fears, like you were just before you went up to speak. Emotional resilience is just about knowing where you are emotionally at any time, and then being able to deal with your emotions in a positive way, so they don’t adversely affect your actions, reactions, thinking and decisions. So that you do what you need to and perform like you can.”

“My anxiety was certainly changing the way I was thinking and reacting, that’s for sure. That is until you er… did what you did with me.”

Bev smiled.

“So is that the same as emotional maturity?” Jeremy enquired.

“No not all being emotionally resilient is just part of being emotionally mature. Being emotionally mature means you are resilient. Being emotionally resilient does not necessarily mean you are emotionally mature. Resilience is a subset of maturity.”


In the third article of this series I will look at just what the attributes of emotional maturity are, compared to emotional resilience.


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